I am posting this photo for all my fans out there who were asking what Ben looked like at the end of three weeks of not shaving. After all, the previous photo was just the beginning. So here you have it.
I will admit that it does look better than it did a couple weeks ago, however I am still a believer of "less is more" when it comes to hair on men. So I spoke to Ben today and this afternoon after first shaving only the beard and leaving the mustache because another guy at camp wanted to have "Yom Safam" (mustache day), I assume he then shaved the mustache. But given that he is many miles away from me, he could shave designs in his facial hair and I really don't care. In our family we call that "letting your freak flag fly" after the lyrics in I Almost Cut My Hair by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young. (see video below). Ironically in this particular case we are actually, indeed, talking about hair. We use the expression for all sorts of nutty things.
Admittedly, although we both have unconventional parts of ourselves, my hubby is generally more comfortable with sharing that part of himself with others than I am! Granted, having a beard that is untrimmed is a religious act for many Hassidim, and that in and of itself is not a mainstream look. Similarly with not shaving for three weeks. It simply does not look normal, well at least not in Lower Merion. But I admire people who let their freak flag fly as an act of devotion. I really do. An example of a person like this is Knesset speaker Yudi Edelstein (photo below) who went against convention by not shaving for the three weeks. Thank you to Rabbi Alan Iser for sending me the link to this Jerusalem Post article. (Click link below for full article.)
While learning about the three weeks and the customs regarding shaving, I actually learned a couple of interesting things about Tisha B'Av. For example, if a person works with non-Jews and would be ridiculed for not wearing leather shoes (if for example, that person wore bright green crocs with his suit to work like Ben has been known to wear on Tisha B'Av), it is permissible for him to wear his regular shoes. Likewise, although bathing is prohibited on Tisha B'Av, wearing deodorant is not. The message seems to be that while we should be in mourning we don't have to be fully downright disgusting and gross. That is reserved for how we look and smell after a joyous holiday, like a "three day yontif," (i.e. when Shabbat follows two days of Yom Tov in the diaspora). If you didn't pick up on it, that was my fabulous sarcastic sense of humor.
Not to miss an opportunity to tie this topic in with the Torah portion, I would like to mention that "letting your freak flag fly" for God is an act of love for God and therefore fulfills the commandment in our parasha, Va-etchanan. The commandment to love God is not just a commandment to feel loving towards God, it is a commandment to show our love through actions (i.e. mitzvot). Just like love is only actualized in human relationships if it is acted upon, so too with God we need to both feel the devotion and show the devotion. When we love someone, we often go to great lengths and do crazy things to show that person how much we love them. For example, being available for a friend in the middle of the night when she is crying, or buying a certain type of gift that we know that person will adore. For example, if you really loved me, you might visit my wish list which I keep for the whole family on Amazon . . . hint hint hint). With God it is much the same; sometimes we have to be a little crazy to show our devotion. Sometimes if we don't feel the love, acting as though we feel love can in and of itself leading to loving. In other words, fake it till you make it!
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