One of our Torah portions this week, Tazria,
begins with the words “When a woman conceives and gives birth…” (Vayikra 12:2)
In the Midrash, the rabbis comment on a part of life that is not
mentioned in the that verse, namely, the pregnancy! There is a lot that happens between
conception and birth, and the rabbis describe in great detail both their
understanding of what happens physically to the child in utero, as well as
spiritually. It is the description of the spiritual development of the soul
that intrigues me the most. Rabbi Levi
in the midrash on our parasha teaches:
It is natural that, if a man is confined to prison with no one
giving him attention, and someone comes and kindles a light for him there,
would not the former [the prisoner] feel gratitude towards the latter [the
lamplighter]? So too is it with the Holy One, blessed be He. When the fetus is in its mother’s womb, He
causes a light to shine for it…. Is this not a matter for praise?” (Vayikrah
Rabbah, Tazria)
According to Rabbi Levi, God plays a role during
gestation--that of lamplighter--and states that this is worthy of praise. What
does Rabbi Levi mean when he teaches that God lights a lamp in the womb?
The Gemara continues and gives us more detail:
A light burns above its [the fetus’s] head and it looks and sees
from one end of the world to the other...And do not be astonished at this, for
a person sleeping here [in Babylon] might see a dream in Spain. (Niddah
30b)
How are we to understand “from one end of the world
to another”? Recognizing that the idea is somewhat fantastical, the
Gemara reminds us that it’s not beyond our grasp to travel to far off places in
our minds, and compares the experience of the fetus to that of a human while
dreaming of another far away land. The Gemara continues:
And there is no time in which a man enjoys greater happiness than
in those days, for it is said, “O that I were as the months of old, as in
the days when God watched over me.” (Job 29:3) now which are the
‘days' that make up 'months' and do not make up years? The months of pregnancy
of course. It [the unborn soul] is also taught all the Torah from beginning
to end, ... As soon as it comes to the air of the world an angel
approaches, slaps it on its mouth and causes it to forget all the Torah
completely. (Niddah 30b)
The Midrash in another location (Tanchuma
Pekudei 3) goes into great detail about what the soul is taught and shown in
the womb and it is quite colorful and detailed, but that is the subject for a
different d’var torah! When the child is born into the world however, an
angel takes away all of that knowledge and the baby is born with no memory of
what it experienced.
When I read the word “Torah” in this Gemana, I’m
reading it as a more general word representing “spiritual knowledge.”
According to Tanchuma Pekudei, it’s not that the unborn soul is taught
all the stories of Abraham and Sarah, the laws having to do with damages, and
the details of the festivals. The teaching is about the nature of
existence, humankind, and G-d, as well as the soul’s mission on this
earth. Many have commented on this
midrash that it suggests that our whole lives are really spent not in learning
wisdom, but in remembering something that we once knew but have now forgotten.
I personally find this to be a very comforting idea. Because anything that we have once learned,
we can learn again. It is like the
process of teshuvah, or repentance. We
are “returning” to a prior state where we were once our better selves.
My prayer for us this Shabbat is that we can all
find that place within our souls that still holds the forgotten knowledge we
were were taught in the womb. Somewhere within us exists the wisdom of
God, taught to us by an angel, and it is our life’s work to discover that
wisdom and live out our mission. May we
all merit to find our paths in life, the ones our souls were meant to take.
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