G-d's treasure chest

Tonight we begin the annual recitation of slichot, prayers for forgiveness, that are said beginning after the Shabbat preceding Rosh Hashanah.  The prayers are poetic and the vocabulary difficult in the original Hebrew & Aramaic, particularly because they are unfamiliar and different compositions are read each day.  Because there are so many, it's customary to read through them quickly.  Never one for speed-davening (praying) I took the opportunity to read through them at home tonight in translation and find inspiration.

In the 4th slicha of the night, the paytan (liturgical poet) writes:

You are the Creator of every created creature;
You prepared a cure long ago to release them from trouble, 
by granting them a free gift from the guarded treasury.

יוצר אתה לכל יציר נוצר

כוננתה מאז תרף לחלצם ממצר

לחוננם חינם מאוצר המנוצר

The "cure" referred to in this poem is teshuvah, repentance.  According to the Talmud (Nedarim 39b) seven things were created before the world itself:  Torah, teshuvah, Gan (Garden of) Eden, Gehinnom (purgatory), the Throne of Glory, the Beit Hamikdash (The Temple), and the name of the Messiah.  In other words, G-d created the "cure" of repentance before humankind even sinned, so that we would never be in a despondent state without hope.

This reminded me of a midrash I learned recently (Breishit Rabbah 16:5) with my dear friend and colleague Rabbi Dr. Morey Schwartz, about the creation of humankind.   R. Nechemyah is of the opinion that Hashem didn't simply place Adam in the garden, rather he persuaded him to enter.  The word "took" means that G-d "took him with words"--he persuaded him. 

I was puzzled about why R. Nechemyah was determined to show that Adam went into the Garden of his own free will rather than being placed there by G-d.  Rabbi Schwartz suggested R. Nechemyah believes G-d wanted Adam to lack excuses after the sin. After all, if he went in of his own free will, he could not blame G-d for putting him into the Garden in the first place.  In other words, it was to encourage Adam to take first step of teshuvah--taking responsibility.  This way of looking at the story reminded me that one of the things created even before the world was, indeed, teshuvah.

The next line in the slicha refers to G-d granting a "free gift from the guarded treasury" to those who have strayed.  You may be asking yourself "what mysterious guarded treasury is this?" (I asked myself, anyway!)  My trusty Artscroll summarizes a midrash to help me out (Tanchuma, KiTisa 27; Shemot Rabbah 45:6)

• "From the guarded treasury" -- When G-d permitted Moses a glimpse of His glory (see Exodus 33:17-23), He displayed before Moses all of the celestial storehouses in which are kept the rewards to me meted out to the righteous.  At each, Moses asked its purpose.  At one, G-d said 'This treasure is for the Torah scholars;' at another 'This is for those who honor Torah scholars;' and at a third 'Here waits the reward for those who raise orphans as their own children.'  Finally, they reached the largest treasure house of all.  G-d told Moses, 'Those who perform mitsvot receive their just compensation from the appropriate storehouse.  But for those who have not earned their own merits, I provide, by My grace, from this treasury."

Tears literally came to me eyes when I read this... what a beautiful allegory for our relationship with G-d and for the concept of G-d's grace.  Why is the last treasury the biggest?   Probably because most of us do not receive blessings in our lives because we have done something particular to deserve them, rather, these are gifts from G-d--from "the guarded treasury."

The slichot are full of prayers lamenting how we are not living up to our best selves.  It can be quite depressing to read page after page of supplications that involve admitting how inadequate we feel.  Nestled in the first night of slichot is this reference to two beautiful midrashim about the beauty of G-d's grace and of how teshuvah is one of the basic creations that defines humankind.  This is is one of the things at the very essence of being human:  To fall.  To get back up after we have fallen.  To return to our Creator.  And to receive His/Her invaluable grace.